Ass-vertising - in your face!

A gentleman's club in Chester, England, announced their new marketing strategy:

They'll offer advertisements in 4 x 6 in. body paint rectangles on lap dancers' butts.

Bare genius? Pandering to consumers with their heads up their butts?

Ass-backwards campaign?

Disclaimer: No pun (bun) intended with "rectangles".
I hope this rectified any misunderstandings.

No, I don't have any images available.

"When the Moon in the Sky..."

Violins, harps, a soft background choir...a beautiful melody...it sets the mood...

...for romance, dreaming, meditation, you know - that sort of stuff.

What makes me laugh out loud is when I hear such an arrangement in a radio jingle and the subject of their tender promotion is...

"Capital Paci-fic Ho-mes"...meow... A home builder?!

Puh-leeze! What's next?

Imagine the white sand on a gorgeous beach, palm trees swaying in a gentle breeze, soft music entering your sleepy ears, angelic voices singing the praise of your luxurious neighborhood...

...colonoscopy lab?
...bankruptcy counselor?
...sewer tank manufacturer?

Shouldn't the music match the subject? Or something...?

Bridezillas invading Philadelphia

I had seen this great movie before, starring Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington: "Philadelphia".

This is a gripping story that really draws in your mind and your heart. I watched it again, the other night.

It's bad enough that great stories get interrupted by commercials. And, of course, in all the wrong places. It doesn't seem to matter whether there's a highly dramatic scene or a natural break - when it's time for commercials the movie gets cut! But that's not even the worst part...

The other night, they interrupted our initially great viewing experience with previews of upcoming "Bridezillas" shows! Have you seen these? I checked it out - once. Spoiled-rotten brats having fits over their wedding stuff. Yawn, I'd say - if it wasn't so aggravating. Stupid, selfish broads embarrassing themselves on TV with their childish demands.

It gets even worse...

They actually repeated the same previews over and over during the jingle breaks of "Philadelphia". Talking about a "break"! Talking about completely ruining a movie for its audience.

Why? - I ask myself. What are they thinking? Do they expect us to turn off a heart-wrenching involvement with such a brilliant drama in under 5 seconds and develop some anticipation for a bimbo show? ("Honey, stop crying for a moment and mark the calendar for the next "Bridezillas"!)

But then I wonder: do these TV people know something about us that we haven't noticed ourselves, yet?

Have we become such a superficial audience that this kind of "brutality" actually works for the advertisers?

Do we already shrug off such emotional and cultural "rapes"?

Can we stop this? Do we want to stop this?

"We treat you like family!"

Oh, yeah? Please don't! I might not like it.

Why do so many business owners take pride in announcing that they treat their customers like family? Do we even know just how they treat their family?

Would they charge their family for services rendered?

That's NOT how you treat family!

If they mean they'll treat you with kindness and respect - that's common sense in business. And in family. And everywhere else too.

What do they honestly mean by "treating me like family"?

Do you have any idea?

"Hole in the Foot" Marketing, Part 1

This is what I'd like to write about - in this blog:

Advertising that strikes me as ignorant and "missing the point".

The merchants shoot themselves in the foot.

Take this: I'm driving in my car, listening to the radio - the jingles begin...

Great message about something that might interest me, and a phone number to call. Twice, three times the number. So far, so good. I try to memorize the number...

...800-224-938..."Don't miss out on our great deals and call today!"...224-983..um...38..83..???

After they've repeated the phone number 3 or 4 times throughout the commercial, they still can't shut up in the end so I can focus on remembering the number.

The one thing you want a potential customer to remember is the phone number! Is that so hard to understand?

Why do they try anything to distract you from memorizing their number?

Do we really have to be reminded a 4th or 5th time to take advantage of their deal if this is exactly what we're trying to do but we can't because they won't stop talking about it?

Has this ever happened to you?

Shouldn't these ad guys get fired?

Merry Christmas To Our Troops...

Ironically, the last thing we want to think about on Christmas Eve is death, murder, danger, bombs, children screaming in pain, and the like...right? But we should make it a priority. Especially on Christmas.

These brutal realities of war are daily occurrences for many thousands of our fathers, sons, daughters, brothers and sisters in Iraq and Afghanistan.

How can we possibly enjoy a peaceful Holiday without a mere thought or prayer for our troops?

How can we possibly form the right thoughts in our minds without being thoroughly informed about the realities of life for our loved ones in arms?

On this Christmas Eve of 2008, I made a Squidoo lens with war videos by Casey Porter. He took it upon himself to show us what's really going on in Iraq, by letting the soldiers and images speak for themselves.

Watch these videos! It's the least you can do for our troops - as a Christmas present.

Stop the loss - Iraq war realities on video.

Photo courtesy of takomabibelot. Thank you.

Grocery Store Shelf Injuries!

I wonder if there have been law suits, already...

About 2 years ago, grocery stores in my area (and probably nation-wide) started re-fitting their shelves with acrylic "guards" of sorts. I assume the reason for this was too much product slipping off the over-stuffed platforms. So far, so good.

Moronically, these "guard" panes have sharp edges. Every time I have to reach deeper into the shelf space to get a few extra packs of coconut flakes, I scrape some skin off my lower arm.

It hurts to shop for more than what's conveniently located up front! Huh? Who came up with that brain fart? It hurts to buy more?

I'm already at peace with the fact that sometimes a quart of sour cream is more (?) expensive than two individual pints. But being rewarded with bloody scratches for throwing more money at the big chains seems to be a bit of a stretch, to me.

The photo is an exaggeration, of course. Courtesy of rbatina. Thank you.